


The Long Road

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Damereylo Redemption [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Confessions, Drunk Poe Dameron, Fluff and Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Poe Dameron, Jedi Rey, Jedi Training, Jedi texts, Kylo Ren Redemption, Love Confessions, Multi, Mutual Pining, POV Poe Dameron, Pining Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren/Rey Fluff, Polyamory, Protective Finn, Protective Kaydel Ko Connix, Protective Rose Tico, Rey/Kylo Ren Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Teacher Kylo Ren, Threesome - F/M/M, Well-Intentioned Finn, hangovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 20:52:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17190200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: In which Kylo comes with Rey after the battle in Snoke’s throne room and begins his long road to redemption.





	1. Prodigal Son

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: This kind of popped into my head and I had to write it.

He shouldn’t be jealous. He really shouldn’t. And yet here Poe Dameron was on the Falcon, post-Crait, watching the girl, Rey, and the former Master of the Knights of Ren talk in soft voices, like they knew each other far too well. He looked over at them, feeling a sudden tension go through his body like electric currents, and he knew that logically he should want to get Kylo Ren away from Rey. Which he did.

Except, there was something else. Something about watching them both that made him feel more than a bit sick, and not for the reasons he “should” be feeling sick.

“Poe?” Kaydel Ko Connix’s voice jarred him out of his twisted reverie. “You okay?”

“I can’t take it.” Poe said softly. “I thought I was strong enough, but I can’t take it.”

Kaydel nodded. “You’re telling me. I’m sorry, Poe.”

“Not your fault. Nothing you can help.” Poe forced himself to tear his eyes away for a while. He knew what he needed now, and he needed it badly. He needed to get drunk.

***

Luckily, Kaydel, Finn and Rose were happy to oblige. Even as they sat together, sharing glasses of old Corellian ale that the late Han Solo had kept around, Poe found the camaraderie at least comforting. Currently, they were holding an informal meeting of the Kriff The Former Kylo Ren club, which Poe supposed he was the informal president of.

“It’s jus’ stupid,” Poe said. “He walks out of everyone’s lives, walks out of my life, and now he thinks he can jus’ show up and act like nothin’ happened? I ain’t fallin’ for that.”

“Hear hear,” the rest of the informal Kriff The Former Kylo Ren club said. Poe took another swig of ale. “Didn’ use to be that way,” he said. “Thing is...he was my best friend.”

“Seriously?” Rose said.

Poe laughed bitterly. “Yeah. That was before I realized what a monster he really was. Worst part was...I fell in love with him.”

Silence. Even drunk, Poe could sense that he’d said something completely outside the realm of what drunk people could say.

“You did?” Finn said. He sounded surprisingly calm considering he’d had three drinks.

“Why?” Poe snorted. “Because I was an idiot, that’s why. He was charming and kind and I thought he was brave. Kriff...everything he was goin’ through, I would have fought his demons if he asked me to. Not like it would have worked, but I could have tried.” A sigh. “And then he killed his own dad. Tortured me. Tortured that poor girl who’s somehow following him around like a lost kath hound. It’s...it’s...I’m at a loss for kriffing words.”

“Maybe he brainwashed her?” Kaydel said.

Finn shook his head. “Rey isn’t like that.”

“Kriff if I know.” Poe hiccuped as he spoke. “To Ben kriffing Solo, who ruined everything and destroyed his family. I hope he’s proud.”

“Hear hear,” the rest of the informal club said.

They raised their glasses and clinked them together. And Poe knew that the worst part was that his emotions were a mess and he couldn’t find a way to put them back together. At least he had Kaydel, Finn and Rose.

There was that.


	2. Rare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo bond, and Poe deals with the consequences of last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

In a way, the former Kylo Ren — who supposed he was just Kylo now. He wasn’t Ben Solo, or the Master of the Knights of Ren. He supposed that he was just Kylo. Basically nothing — didn’t need to hear what Poe had said in his drunken ramblings in order to know what he thought about him. He could sense it. Poe was drunk, and he hated him.

And he loved him too.

He could catch snippets — from what Poe was saying, and from his own thoughts. It was one of those things that hurt, because Poe had loved him, but now he hated him, and —

Rey turned to look at him. “Ben,” she said, and there was something about her presence that was strangely grounding, all things considered. “Just ignore them. Really.”

Easier said than done, really. “I suppose.”

”You want to go into another room?”

Kylo nodded.

They went into one of the rooms on the Falcon. Kylo sighed. “You know, the way we talk...people will think we’re in love.” He tried to keep his voice wry, but he swore that somewhere, his heart was threatening to break.

”You’re not good at hiding your feelings, Ben.”

Kylo winced. “I don’t think I’m...ready for that yet.”

”It’s your name, isn’t it?”

”I’ve been so used to having it...gone.”

Rey nodded. “I can imagine as much.”

Just because he’d finally come to his senses on the Supremacy didn’t mean he was redeemable. Poe was right. He was unworthy, in every way. 

“B — Kylo.” Rey’s voice was soft. “This Poe...he’s nothing but an idiot. He doesn’t know what you’ve done. Or appreciate it. He hasn’t had...his own uncle hate him and try to kill him. He’s lucky.”

”I hurt him, Rey.”

Silence. “Well,” Rey said, “The best you can do is make up for it. I’ve been reading through the old Jedi texts I saved from that tree, and one of what they said was...something Master Zhar once said. Whoever he was.”

”One of Revan’s masters,” Kylo said. “Revan was...one of Snoke’s many inspirations. I think he admired his strategy, his scheming and precision.” A beat. “But what did he say?”

”Even those on the Dark Path aren’t lost forever.” Rey said.

Kylo paused. Then, “Possibly.” A beat. “I ended up...not going with H — my father because I thought I wasn’t worthy.”

”Kylo.” Rey said. “Did Snoke tell you that?”

Kylo shrugged. “It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before. Even from my mother.”

Rey looked startled.

”She and my father would have...conversations. It didn’t take a telepath to know they thought I was a monster.”

Rey bit her lip. “Surely your father didn’t.”

”Maybe. I know that now.” A beat. “I suppose I gave them what they wanted,” Kylo said bitterly. “They wanted a monster, they got one.”

”If you were a monster, you wouldn’t be here.”

Somehow, what she said sent more warmth through him than he’d felt in too long. “Perhaps.”

Silence.

”Kylo...if I stayed the night with you, would it help?” Rey said.

Kylo smiled faintly. “People will talk.”

”They’re already talking.”

There was unfortunately only one bed on the Falcon, and Kylo couldn’t deny that there was something uncanny about sharing a bed with a former enemy. He couldn’t help but be struck by Rey’s beauty, only accentuated by her chocolate brown hair flowing freely down her back. He turned to Rey. “Rey...why are you doing this for me?”

”Well,” Rey said, “I know what it means to be lonely.”

”I do too.” There was a lot he wanted to say, about Rey being rarer than she knew, but he supposed that he didn’t have to say anything. Over the Bond, she no doubt knew.

Rey smiled. “You’re rarer than you know too, Kylo. You truly are.”

They fell asleep, and Kylo could take comfort in her presence. He didn’t know what they were yet — what they had done to and for each other was currently beyond labels. But at least for the moment, they were friends.

***

”Ugh...”

To say that Poe Dameron felt terrible was one way to put it. At least General Organa hadn’t come storming in. Yet. Poe rubbed his temples, trying to recover from the headache that seemed to have been inflicted on him. Probably deserved, considering he’d gone into Corellian ale. 

“You okay, Poe?” Finn said.

”I feel terrible,” Poe said.

”No stang,” Finn said. “I mean, considering all that ale you were drinking...”

Poe sighed.

”We better get to breakfast. They’ve probably got comfort food or something...”

They reached the main hold, and Rey and Kylo were sitting together. Eating together. Deep in conversation. Poe sighed and gritted his teeth.

”Just ignore them,” Kaydel said. She looked just as terrible, really. Her blond hair was falling out of its two buns, and there were dark circles under her eyes.

”Kind of hard to do so when she’s fraternizing with the enemy...”

”They probably deserve each other,” Kaydel said. “So...moral of the story: Corellian ale is a hell of a drink, isn’t it?”

Poe nodded. That was obvious.

***

It was Finn who ultimately confronted her over Kylo. Rey was about to go off with Kylo to study the Jedi texts when Finn...well, he didn’t corner her. Finn was too nice for that. But it felt like it.

”Rey,” he began. “You’ve got to stay away from him.”

Kylo, meanwhile, scoffed. “Don’t you have better things to do, FN-2187? Like gossiping with your friends?”

”The name’s Finn,” Finn said. “And if you hurt Rey again, I don’t think General Organa will even protect you.”

”I won’t.” Kylo said.

”You could have been hurting her the whole time.”

”I didn’t.”

Finn turned to look at Rey. “What really happened on Ach-To, Rey? Are you about to forget everything he did?”

”How can you,” Rey said, “Of all people say who deserves redemption?”

Finn went silent. Rey immediately regretted what she said. “I’m sorry,” she said. “But you don’t know what happened to him...”

”I don’t trust him, Rey.”

”And who are you to say who’s trustworthy and who isn’t?” Rey said. “You, Kaydel, Poe, Rose — all four of you have no idea what happened. Stay out of it.” She turned to Kylo. “Come on.”

They walked away. Rey already hated what she’d said, but Finn...

Then again, Finn had been a stormtrooper who hadn’t even killed except his own comrades in self-defense. Kylo had actually committed multiple atrocities, some of which Finn and Rey were on the receiving end of. But those on the Dark path were not lost forever. Kylo had proved that.

Right?

”You still hate my actions.” Kylo said.

Rey winced. She doubted she was still used to Kylo reading her thoughts like that. Their relationship was patching, but it didn’t mean that she was altogether okay with him reading her thoughts.

Kylo spoke. “I’m sorry. Snoke...was actually the one who suggested I use my telepathic and empathic abilities to interrogate people. I suppose I’ve always had it, but I didn’t use them as a weapon until I was nineteen. That was when I first joined Snoke.”

Rey nodded. Nineteen. Her age. To think they had ultimately chosen different paths...

Kylo continued. “I didn’t enjoy what I did. Doing what I did to you and Poe was one of the worst things I did.”

”I...” It wasn’t okay. But the fact he’d acknowledged it was amazing. “Thank you, Kylo. And...I shouldn’t have hurt you like that.” She reached up, tentatively, to touch the scar that almost bisected his face.

Kylo smiled faintly. “You were strong. I can’t see the future, but away from Skywalker, you’ll be one of the best Jedi out there.” A beat. “There’s something I was thinking. You’re already strong, but if I trained with you, taught you what I knew...it would be a step towards making up for what I did, wouldn’t it?”

Rey nodded. “I do need someone to finish my training,” she said. “And so do you.” A beat. “So where do we begin?”


	3. Three’s Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The polyamory begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Not entirely happy with this chapter, but I hope it’s still enjoyable.

“I don’t really care for Atton and the Exile’s story,” Kylo said. 

“Why not?” Rey said. They were in the cargo hold, going over some parts of the texts. 

“The whole concept is ridiculous,” Kylo said. “The idea of a man being redeemed thanks to the love of a good woman...” He grimaced. “It’s unrealistic.”

Rey’s lips twitched, and then she started laughing. It wasn’t something Kylo really minded, if he was to be perfectly honest. It reminded him of —

He stomped on that thought as quickly as it came. Rey faltered, then, “Are you okay?”

”Yes. I mean, no.”

”What happened?”

”It’s not relevant.”

Rey looked at him sadly. “Kylo...”

”You reminded me of someone.” He had hoped that would be the end of that, but Rey wasn’t up for just letting that go. 

“Poe?” Rey said. 

Well, that didn’t work the way he’d hoped. “You and Poe are very much alike,” he said. “Different backgrounds, but you could very well have been like his sister.”

Rey wrinkled her nose. 

“He was...very different once upon a time.” Kylo said. 

”Was he?” Rey looked curious now. 

Kylo could still hear Poe’s laugh, warm and bright and vibrant, in his mind, and it tore through him like he’d been stabbed with a lightsaber. “He was kind. He still is. He has a great sense of humor. He has a talent for seeing the beauty in others even when they thought they were unworthy.”

Rey snorted. “He’s pretty bad at showing it.”

”It was my fault,” Kylo said. “I didn’t want to do it, but Snoke...”

”Snoke made you?”

Kylo nodded. “I think he knew all along. When the hologram faded out, I could have sworn he had that...smile. ‘Only mercy is worse than love,’ he told me. ‘Love is a weakness and has no place here.’”

Rey paused. It was clear that she had no idea how to react to this. 

Kylo continued. “He...when I refused, he actually attacked me with Force Lightning. He didn’t let up until I complied, and — I was weak. A stronger man wouldn’t...a real Jedi wouldn’t...I could have been strong enough to just take the torture for myself...”

”Kylo, breathe. He’s dead now. He can’t get to you anymore.”

”I was weak. Selfish...”

”He hurt you. He hurt both of you. I’m so sorry.”

”It wasn’t the first time. First time I sought shelter with him, he...hurt...”

“Kylo, breathe.” 

“How’s that supposed to help?!” 

“Just try, at least. I know there’s no try, but let’s pretend it exists, for a moment.”

Kylo tried. And for a moment, everything became calmer. He could at least focus on Rey’s face, beautiful, almost ethereal. Her eyes. She had overwhelmingly lovely hazel eyes...

No. Stay steady. He had to breathe. 

“Rey,” he said. “Thank you.”

Rey nodded. “You didn’t deserve what happened to you,” she said. “No one does, Kylo.”

Silence fell. Then Kylo spoke. “We’d...best get back to the texts.”

Rey nodded. “We should.”

Kylo could only hope that no one else had seen his moment of panic in the cargo hold. He was weak enough already — unbalanced, mediocre, overly emotional, everything that he wasn’t supposed to be. 

They read through the texts, occasionally reading some of the more striking quotes out loud, and Kylo was aware that she was too close to him. A light brush of her hand over his, the sight of her lips and eyes...

He had to focus. And yet, somehow, Rey’s presence near him was becoming increasingly distracting. It reminded him, again, of Poe, when even an accidental brush of their hands could cause flutters in his stomach. He’d been eighteen and so in love with Poe it hurt. He couldn’t use Rey as just a replacement. Besides, they’d touched hands before. She’d seen his future. He shouldn’t be getting worked up by her being...close...

Rey’s voice was already getting tired reading from the texts. A bit scratchy. They’d gotten to  some of the Exile Arawn Sinn’s teachings, and Kylo’s own voice was getting tired as well. Finally, they reached the end of that chapter. Dusty tattered flimsiplast, and ink that had faded on the pages. Rey turned to look at him. “You...seem troubled, Kylo.”

“The texts are pretty thick.”

Rey sighed. “When we were reading...your thoughts were disturbed. Then again, it didn’t really take a telepath to know what you were thinking.”

Kylo nodded. Then, “I suppose not.” 

The silence between them was awkward. It was a sort that was simply there, taking up space. 

“What did you feel? How much?” Kylo said. 

“You were remembering Poe. Am I...just a replacement for him?” Rey actually sounded hurt, and Kylo couldn’t help but feel a sinking pit in his stomach. 

Then, “You’re not. You never were. I suppose my mind was drawing similarities. You are your own, Rey.” A beat. “The truth is, I care for you. When we first met on Takodana, we were enemies, but even then I felt a bizarre kinship between us both. But it wasn’t all of you. I don’t know where my feelings are taking me, but I can only hope they’re the right course.”

Rey nodded. “When I saw your future, I actually saw...Poe and me with you. We were happy together.” A beat. “It’s going to be a long road there, isn’t it?”

”I’d have it no other way.”

***

According to General Organa, they were getting closer to Bespin. At least Hux and the other surviving members of the First Order couldn’t track them through hyperspace this time...yet. Poe, meanwhile, knew that some of the crew were getting tense just being cramped in here, especially with Kylo onboard. Poe had been avoiding him...

But what was the point, really, when he could finally tell Kylo exactly what he thought? At least if he could get him away from Rey for a few minutes. They were too close for Poe’s comfort. And the truth was, it was already getting on Poe’s nerves. Fraternizing with the enemy, yes, but also...

Long ago, Poe would have freely fought Ben’s demons. A part of him...stars, he still loved Ben as deeply as he hated Kylo. Everything refused to be simplified into just. One. Thing...

It was Kylo and Rey who asked to borrow him one day, when they were apparently about to come out of hyperspace. Rey had already apologized to Finn first, and Finn had accepted it, even if he didn’t entirely trust Kylo. Finn was too much of a saint that way. Poe sighed even as Rey and Kylo took him to the cargo hold, hoping that at least it wouldn’t end in a trap. 

It was Kylo who spoke. “I owe you an apology. And an explanation.”

”It’s not just me you should apologize to.”

”It’s a start,” Kylo said. “You’re wondering why I became Kylo Ren. I might as well tell you why.”

Kylo told him, and Poe could swear that his anger went supernova in a different direction. He’d never thought that Luke would do it. He knew that Ben and his uncle had their...problems, but this? Trying to kill him? Driving him to Snoke, who proceeded to torture him and hurt him? Stars, but Poe wanted to kick something, throw something, anything. The anger was already building up in his body, and —

“I’m going to kill him.” Poe murmured. “I’m going to kill him.”

”I deserved it, Poe.”

”Don’t give me that,” Poe said. “You were being mentally raped, and Luke thought trying to kill you was the best solution?”

Silence. He could feel Rey’s eyes on him, and Kylo’s — Rey’s quiet sorrow, Kylo’s own self-hatred. Finally, Poe spoke. “I wish I could say I hated you. It’s a mess. I hate what you did, and knowing Snoke was behind it...I swear I could resurrect him just to kill him again. I’m so sorry, Ben.”

Kylo winced. “I’m not ready for that name yet. Call me Kylo. Just...Kylo.”

Poe nodded. “Kylo. I love you, you know. I didn’t stop loving you. I couldn’t. It’s kriffed up and weird but...when I saw you with Rey, I was so stupidly jealous — ”

”You won’t have to be,” Rey said. “When Kylo and I touched hands, I saw his future. Our future.” She paused. “We can take it however you want, though.”

”Was there a place for me in our future?” Poe said. 

“Completely,” Rey said. 

Poe stumbled back. He swore, just a moment, that he was about to cry. “Our future,” he said. “Ours.” 

“Yes, Poe.” Kylo said. “It’s ours.”

Rey spoke up. “And me? Do you care for me as you do for Poe?”

Kylo nodded. “Yes. I couldn’t pin down my feelings before. I can now.”

Rey embraced him in that moment, and Poe embraced both of them. He and Rey would have a lot of patching up to do, but here, with both of them...with both of them, he was right where he belonged. 


End file.
